I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
