Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
