I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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