Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize