Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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