I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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