11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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