In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
