Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
