So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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