totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
