come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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