I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I smell like Dick and happiness
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
