I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
