meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
my shit smells like andre
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize