The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
So squirting runs in the family.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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