and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Girls should come with a carfax report
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
