what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
