: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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