he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
