she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
