I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I looked at my own cervix.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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