Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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