Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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