So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
