Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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