I have demons in me.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
