There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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