I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
