I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
