Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
