i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
