there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
