It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
