I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
we're so committed to being not committed
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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