Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
