Is it because I queefed?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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