I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
