Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
