I think I am morally bankrupt
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
