I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
