We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
