try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
