Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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