WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
