matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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