how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize