If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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