I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
