Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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