you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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