its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
