He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
