he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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