I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
