I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
