You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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