I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
