you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
