the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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