Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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