I want to stick my p in your. b.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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