He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
