We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
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