the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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