every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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