Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Randomize
