Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I AM VODKA MAN
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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