I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
