We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize