Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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