2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I want to walk on stilts...naked
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
