I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
