My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
