hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
