News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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