so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
