I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
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