what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
