how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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