i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize