East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
