The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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