This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
