i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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